Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Unleashed For Me

Again, I craned my neck from where I stood just to check whether he was there. I had this feeling that if I did not then he would vanish. But there he was in his favorite white shirt which he wore only on special occasions still as personable as he used to. He had not changed much in the two years I did not see him. He looked tired and older but still dashing. He was not being himself, I could tell it. I knew him as a man who was at his best when not alone. Talking to people was his passion. I heard people back home say he was one man who if left in the company of mutes would inspire the mutes to storm the haven of the gods demanding that they be given back the voices they lost. It was torture seeing him tongue tied. Everyone around him was engaged in animated talk but he just sat in silence not even turning his face to look around. He lost his voice and seemed uninterested to find it. He loved crowds. Crowds were his stage but not this one. These people had spent enough money to feed a whole town for days just to dress up for this day. What seemed to be someone else’s private driver, who failed to get the instruction from his master that he could leave and did not have to wait, would not merit their second glance. There was no guessing how he felt. I knew it. I was there once. I wanted to go hug him if only to reassure him everything was going to be alright but I could not. We were on strict notice to stay where we were. A few more minutes and the ceremony was to start.

Someone nudged me to get ready. It was time the procession got moving. I felt my knees wobble. This was not just another ordinary walk we were taking. We were walking to mark the end of a phase in our lives. I was heading the march. The symbolism was not lost. The pack that once excluded me was going to follow my lead. I looked back to check whether everyone was ready. I gazed in awe at what seemed to be a scene that came alive from the canvas of a great master. Everyone looked radiant and beautiful. They looked so angelic in their immaculate garbs. The light cast by the burning candles in their hands can not rival the glow in their faces. Everybody nodded as we looked at each other. We were ready. The lights went off. The music played. I started to walk.

The events unfolded fast the way I recall it. I heard my name called. I walked to the stage all trembling. I gave an address for which I spent lots of time each night rehearsing. Finally, it was over. I could not even remember now what was it that I spoke about. But I clearly remember, people giving me a wild applause. I must have done something great to deserve such an approval. I looked at my friends, they were all smiles. I was no longer shaking. I was feeling like I could sparkle. If I could freeze a moment in my life so I could savor it again and again, that was the moment. It was our graduation day. I had just delivered my valedictory address and got an ovation. I heard someone shouting my name with glee. It was my dad. His face was beaming with pride. The crowd could not resist but pay him notice. I could not have been more happy not only for myself but also for my father. He did not lose his voice. He waited for the right moment - his daughter's own moment, to unleash it.

48 comments:

  1. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts/lessons so freely for those of us whom you've never even met to learn and benefit from them.

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  2. If it benefited anyone, the sharing would be all worth it. Thank You so much, Shauna.

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  3. I came to your blog for the first time on April 8, less than a week ago, I just have to say that I love you Soooo much. God has gifted you with marvelous writing skills and I look forward to every time you post.

    Tell your grandaughter I thank her for being at your side while you are blogging. By helping you, she is helping all of us. I'm sending a Holy hug to both of you.

    Your victories over adversity are inspiring and I thank God for your indomitable spirit.

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  4. Thank you so much Ellen. I felt the warmth of your hug. You lift my spirits as always.

    Happy Birthday! It is coming a bit late but it comes from the heart.

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  5. I was introduced to your blog yesterday, my 37th birthday. It is the most inspiring thing I have ever read. Thank you so much for your words. You have inspired me to keep going with my own blog despite my own questions and fears.

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  6. Happy Birthday Michelle! That is very sweet of you. I could not ask for better reward for sharing the story of my life than having someone say I touched her life in a way that kept her going. Thank you

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  7. Good morning! I found you at Inspiration life and I'm so glad I did! I'm a 35 year old Christian mother of two, married 17 years. My dear Gramma is 91 ,so your blog definitely piqued my interest(you can see her picture on my blog in the sidebar)! There aren't very many bloggers out there in their 90's, I'm assuming! I can't wait to get to know you through your writing. I hope you have a very blessed day. I'm off to work.

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  8. Thank you for visiting my blog so that I could find yours! I will now look forward to keeping up with your beautiful writings. You might want to look at Ronni Bennett's elderblogging at http://www.timegoesby.net/ and the wonderful accompanying Elder Storytelling Blog. Many blessings to you.

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  9. That was breathtaking. Beautiful, I could almost see the images as a slide show. Wonderful Grandma Julia.

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  10. Hi, Birdie! Thank you for paying my blog a visit. I would be glad having you for a company in my journey down the road I have taken.

    Yeah! I visited your blog and saw your grandma's picture. I wish I looked that young. :)

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  11. Thank you Linda! I look forward to your next visit. I would definitely visit the pages you have suggested. I am sure there would be much I would find to keep my mind percolating.

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  12. Thanks again Disturbed. Now, don't get me used to your compliments. I would be worried if I do not get it in my succeeding posts. :)

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  13. I'm new to blogging... but your blog is a shining example of why I decided to start in the first place.

    I know I will throughly enjoy traveling with you back through the journey you have taken, as I walk forward in mine.

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  14. I doubt it Grandma Julia. Have you visited my blog? You didn't honor me with comments on my writing... Coming from you it would be cherishable.

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  15. Thank you regular guy. It is a treat having one young intelligent gentleman join me in my sojourn. I hope the trip with me would offer you some points to ponder that would help make your own life journey more fun.

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  16. LOL! Disturbed, I visited your site so many often. Reading your stories always turn on the reflection mode in my brain and when on that mode, I find it hard to do any other thing. :)

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  17. Awww that was so sweet!! Your Father's heart must have burst with pride. Your writing is so descriptive.

    My Dad jumped up and down and scream "YES! She did it!" in front of the DMV when I parallel parked successfully for my drivers test without injuring anyone. Hee hee :)

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  18. Hello grandma,

    thank you very much for your lovely words at my "little girl"-cards.
    This picutre and the others are made by stamp. Unfortunately this aren't any pictures of my family. But I also like this pictures.

    I'm looking forward to see your pictures :-)


    Best wishes,

    Swaantje and Timm, my son

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  19. I am flattered. You're too kind.

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  20. Very great! I thought the writing was so great :)

    Regards,

    - Mark | http://www.monkeyblogger.com

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  21. Outstanding blog...you really are an inspiration!

    There's a lot of wisdom here for young and old...Reading your stories is time well spent-thanks!

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  22. I just arrived at your blog and I must say I am inspired! You have so much wisdom and experience in life to share with all of us! It would all do a favor to all of us to slow down every once in a while to learn from someone like yourself. Perhaps our world would be more peaceful! Keep up the good writing and inspiring us all to live and to love!

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  23. this story is beautiful..thank you!

    and thank you for the comment posted to my blog. i hope you do check back often..i will return the favor.
    napa farmhouse 1885

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  24. I'm crying. You made me cry. Thank you. [big kiss and hug]

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  25. Hi Grandma Julia,

    Thanks for voting for my blog and gave me this opportunity to discover your blog. It is inspiring.

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  26. Ms. Julia, thank you for that beautiful moment in your life. What an inspiration you must have been to your fellow students AND to your Dad! I'm going to "back read" so I can catch up. I'm inspired by the way you creatively express your personal thoughts. I just wish I could do the same. Creative writing does not come easy for me. Maybe one day when I retire I will take some creative writing classes...I have lots of personal stories I would like to share like you do. Thanks goodness for this blog so people like me can talk to people like you. God Bless You. Susan

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  27. Grandma Julia,

    Stopping by to invite you over. I consider you to be a part of my "collection."

    Blessings.

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  28. Thanks Ki! Isn't it great when dads give you the much deserved pat on your back?

    I hope you continue to keep me company!

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  29. Swantjee! Thank you for the constant company. I visited your blog today and loved that new photo of yours.

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  30. Disturbed, "too kind"? Maybe not.:) Honest? Yes!:)

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  31. Thank you Mark! There is still much I have to learn. I guess that is the reason I visit your blog.:)

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  32. Senior Surfer thank you so much for the compliment. To borrow from a friend's comment, "You are so kind". By the way, I am really honored for the good review you did for my blog. Again, Thank you so much!

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  33. Shoppingkharma, that is very kind of you. I would do my best to deserve your compliment. I hope you can continue to join me in my journey. Thank you so much!

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  34. Napa! Thank you. Surely the farm woman in me would continue to join you in your farm.

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  35. Free Spirit, my kindred spirit, that is one of the best compliment I have ever received. I am deeply touched.

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  36. Thanks Kes! I hope you continue to keep me company!

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  37. Thank you Susan! I would say start now! Don't wait until you retire. I am pretty sure the creative writer in you is just waiting to show itself. A beautiful person like you surely has lots to share.

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  38. Bizy-lizy, thanks for including me in the "collection". You did not have to invite me actually. I visit your blog regularly. You tell your story beautifully

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  39. WOW, that was powerful.

    I'm speechless.

    Thank you for writing, it is very inspiring.

    Pam Hoffman
    http://seminarlist.blogspot.com

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  40. Pam

    That's a sweet compliment and compliments keep me energized. I would keep on trying to deserve it. Thank you so much

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  41. That story was very inspirational. Your writing is pure, honest and truly "sparkles".

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  42. My word... this post just captivated me... I couldn't even look away.

    What a beautiful and endearing way to remember your father - thank you for sharing... :)

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  43. Hi Kelly!

    I would love to use your comment if ever I advertise ,my site! Watch me I will. LOL. It is really a beautiful compliment.Thank you!

    I was away for quite some time. I am sorry it took me this long to respond.

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  44. Hullo Dette!

    I am glad you saw it from that perspective. I did not make any mention of it but I really intended the post as a testimony to my father.

    Thanks for visiting. I hope to "see" you again.

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  45. Hello
    Your ability to put your thoughts into words is amazing and impressive.
    I enjoyed falling into your mind as I read through your interpretations of certain situations life does definitely challenge us with..
    Amazing articulation also. Very nicely done!
    Keep moving forward!
    DorothyL

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  46. What an incredible style you have. Your writing flows like a determined stream down it's path and then stops to pay respect to that one special stone. My goodness, it is refreshing, jolting, and gorgeous! I'm so happy to have found you and your writings. I can't wait to share you with everyone I know. My respect for you is beyond words. Thank you.

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  47. Grandma Julia, you are such an eloquent writer. i really love your stories. Very inspiring. Thank you very much. Take care.

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  48. That must have been a beautiful moment :)

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